Hey everyone! Thought I would stop by and give Pat a break from the blog updates! Just be prepared for a little less creativity and a less fluent way of putting thoughts into writing! He's a tough act to follow, but I figured everyone was ready to hear from the patient herself!
It’s crazy, but I rarely think about the actual incision until Owen (at 2 years old) asks me to put a hat on. He does this every hour or so! He also makes comments about the choo-choo train tracks on my head! I love the kid's honesty! I got my staples out today, so we will see if he still thinks they look like choo-choo tracks!
So, the incision isn't that bad. It goes from the top of my right ear lobe right, behind my hairline, to an inch past the midline of my head. I'm not really taking any pain meds anymore. I get a slight headache on rare occasions when I over-do it a bit, but that's it. Awesome, and praise the Lord for that!
So what I can and can't do? I still have kept a pretty laid back schedule. I fatigue pretty quickly. I'm still not supposed to lift the kids or anything over 5 lbs (challenging!). I haven't driven since the diagnosis (Jan. 31st) due to the pressure the tumor was putting on my optic nerve. I haven't had the visual disturbances since the surgery (Praise the Lord) so I probably could drive, but I'm not sure my "sausage link-like reflexes" are quite up to speed with the other drivers! I mean when your neck is a similar size to your shoulders and cheeks, it's hard to turn your head in a split second! I know you are all thinking, "Sarah, you are being so hard on yourself." I know because everyone has said that, but trust me...it is pretty close and if you know me well you know I have to find humor in everything! It's my best coping mechanism!
I know people are also wondering if I lost any skills when they removed some of my brain tissue, good and bad. Well, so far, no. At least no one is telling me! I know some of the functions of the frontal lobe from school, so; of course I've been testing myself on some of those skills. They typically include high executive functioning skills like organization, memory, behavior, personality, and problem solving to name a few (we are in the clear because these haven't been strengths of mine for quite some time now!). So, am I normal? Probably not, because I don't think God ever intended me to be "normal”. Am I still quirky Sarah who laughs at everything? YES! Also, a plus is that the tumor on my right hemisphere which is likely most people's non-dominant side of the brain.
Emotionally? I'm doing pretty well. Do I have my bad days where I just beg and cry to God? Yes, not very often, but they do come around. Emotions have been very interesting during this journey. For the most part, I haven't dwelled on the situation (which is another coping strategy of mine). I just ignore it until I can actually take a step to fix it. We have been keeping life as normal as possible around here, which has been beneficial for me in this area. I think I've been pretty strong, but I'm still reminded of my weakness, too. Overall, I'm hanging in there just fine and KNOWING the Lord is going to do great things through this. I was telling the Lord today that I'm not sure how he's going to use me through this, what I'm supposed to be learning, or even if I'm ready, but every ounce of this pain is so worth it to know that just one person could benefit from my story and possibly grow closer to Him or even better yet know who HE truly is for the first time. So. Worth. It.
I would also like to sincerely THANK every single one of you. I cannot tell you how awesome it is to feel all the encouragement and support from so many people. A day still does not go by that we do not get a card in the mail, facebook/twitter/blog message, flowers, dinner, money, gift cards, fruit baskets, text message, voicemail, etc. encouraging us in our journey and letting us know we are being prayed for. I want you to know that we have read and cherished every single one of them. We are so humbled by everyone's responses and concern. It truly takes our breath away and has helped us fight this battle even stronger. Thank you doesn't seem like enough words to say, but from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!
I'm ending my novel with this: I am truly a blessed woman to be surrounded by an amazing family. Most of you know how great they are without me even going into details, but they have surrounded me and not let me fall even one inch. Parents and siblings, you all know what ALL you have done for us, and again forever thank you. Now to Pat...you have all gotten to see an amazing side to my "beyond perfect in my eyes husband" through his blog posts. And yes, he is that amazing. It is breath-taking to me that God could and would create such a perfect person for me and then make sure I found him! I did. I found him and tricked him into marrying me, and I'm so glad I did. You have been a rock babe, and thank you for carrying me through with you. We are going to make this great!
Love to all and we are still praying for a great pathology report from Houston. Our next appointment is March 25th. It's going to be good!