You Are For Me

Just wanted to share a song and artist that have really been encouraging me through this time. Please take the time and give this song a shot! It's a great reminder.

Radiation update: Almost done with the 5th week which I was told today is usually the hardest week. Umm...yes it is! Nausea has really been such a struggle. I haven't been able to eat or drink or even smell or look at food much the last 4 days, BUT today I got a new med that will hopefully do the trick. Thanks for the prayers! I'm on the home stretch!

Love to all!

Gifts!

Many things have surprised us through this journey so far to say the least! If one thing has stuck out the most to Pat and me, it is how generous people have been to those of us who are suffering. It has definitely hit Pat and I hard. It has taught us how we can use our resources better to help others in need. Literally, almost EVERY single day we receive some sort of surprise from people we know and even those we don't know. We are so grateful for every single gift. Here are just two examples that can help brighten a friend of yours in time of need!

First, this gift many of you contributed to. I'm still reading through them (I can't make it very far without crying!!). My amazing SIL, Angela, organized this gift and put a lot of hard work into it! She asked you all to leave a comment for me on her blog so she could put together a scripture/encouragement ring. She also consolidated comments that my mom received from Facebook. She made it look so pretty and bright. Here's the finished product:

The second gift I want to share is one from my maternal grandma, Granny Pat! Let me just say that she has given me a special gift every time I left NWA for Houston, which has been at least 5 times! She even bought Pat some fancy after-shave to impress the nurses because I got a pedicure to impress the doctors!

Here's her latest gift idea. She made me a cute reversible bag in bright colors and filled it with 30 individually wrapped gifts. The premise of this gift is that everyday after my radiation treatment I get to open one gift. This gives me something to look forward to after I finish my treatment for that day. Is that not a great idea? So far I have opened lip glosses, kitchen gadgets, fingernail polish, fancy chocolates, pj's, slippers, etc. So much fun! Here's a picture of a 1/2 empty radiation goodie bag:

Like I said, these are just two of the many gifts we have received over this 3 month journey. We are so so so thankful to everyone for helping us out and brightening our days!

Quick update on me: Sort of started out as a sad day because I found my first patch of hair-loss from radiation. Bummer! But still praying that I don't lose anymore. I can still cover this patch up for the most part. It is pretty close to my scar which still doesn't have much hair on it yet. I will try to get up enough courage soon to take a picture (it has more to do more with my chubby cheeks than the hair!!). I have also been hit with more nausea and tiredness these last couple of days. Tomorrow I will be 1/2 way through my radiation treatment, so this is about the time I should expect to get these symptoms. Still trying to remain positive and get plenty of rest!

Thanks again for all the support and encouragement. My mom and I miss you all and are ready to be back in NWA!

Hooked Up!

Everyone has been asking how I'm feeling, so what better way to tell everyone than to blog!

I have 9 radiation treatments under my belt and 21 more to go! So far I feel about the same besides occasional nausea and fatigue. The doctors say I could possibly see hair loss, skin reactions, loss of appetite/nausea, etc. closer to 3-4 weeks into the treatment. EVERYDAY (except Saturdays and Sundays) at 8:45 I get my radiation therapy and I have the same 3 extremely nice and bubbly radiology therapists at each of my treatments! The treatment only takes approximately 15 minutes. I counted today and I get "zapped" with what appears to be a purple light 76 times every treatment. No worries, I can't feel it!

The questionable part of the treatment is the mask! I think it might make some people cringe. I have this plastic, netted mask as tight as possible over my entire head. If that's not bad enough for most people, then they snap that mask with my head in it to the table! So yes, I'm attached to the table by my head and couldn't escape even if their was a fire in the room! Here's the weird thing....I kind of find it relaxing! I think the Lord knew what he was doing when he made me weird!

The purpose of this lovely tight mask is to make sure I'm in the exact same position for every treatment. You can see masking tape and marker on my mask, that is where I get the radiation. I think it's pin-pointing a small area. I have the tape on both sides like you can see and then another one right over my right eye brow.

Hope that helps everyone understand a little better into my new temporary life! I know the Lord is continuing to work on me through this so keep the prayers coming! Also, keep praying for the family members that have to put up with me!!!

Treatment to Start Thursday

I have to make this very quick because this laptop is about to run out of battery, and I left the power source at home.

Here's the skinny: We met with the radio-oncologist today. Sarah's radiation treatments will start on Thursday. We still don't know if chemotherapy is necessary. All the additional testing is complete, but the neuro-oncologist is out of town. We plan to get a hold of him next week to learn whether or not chemo is in the deck of cards. Regardless, radiation starts Thursday. Sarah was fitted for mask that holds her head still during radiation.

Sarah's last day of scheduled radiation is May 25th. She will remain in Houston until then.

We continue to receive many cards and calls of prayer and encouragement. Thank you very much. I'll have to elaborate a little more when I get this plugged in!

Goodnight.

March Madness

This is, typically, one of my favorite times of the year. Daylight extends further into each evening, a round of golf becomes more plausible, and of course, it doesn't get much better than four weeks of tournament basketball.

With certainty, though, you can expect a March shower to ruin a day of golf, a cold front to disrupt an outdoor family event, and only one team in the tournament gets to win their final game of the season. This is the madness of March.

This weekend's visit to the hospital epitomized March Madness. We were thrown a curve ball. After believing, for weeks, that Sarah's tumor was a Grade I or Grade II Astrocytoma, we learned that it is Grade III Anaplastic Astrocytoma. Our neuro-oncologist did explain that, while classified as Grade III, it seems to be low on the Grade III spectrum (a few tests are not yet finalized). Nevertheless, Sarah will begin a six-week radiation regiment in Houston in a couple weeks, and chemotherapy is a real possibility.

Regardless of the classification, it's still only 5% of the size it used to be. For that, we are very grateful.

Each year, I fill out a bracket. Back in the glory days of Arkansas basketball, I would spend an inordinate amount of time conducting a thorough research on every team in the tournament. This may surprise you, but, despite all the research, I never had a perfect bracket. Nobody ever does. We never have all the answers.

Nor do we know all the details of this diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan. I doubt that a selection committee would make us a top seed.

Not many miracles start with great odds. I'm convinced God, (like Lynlee), loves a Cinderella story. We have faith that He can heal Sarah's cancer. Stories like ours give Him "One Shining Moment".

Update from Sarah!

Hey everyone! Thought I would stop by and give Pat a break from the blog updates! Just be prepared for a little less creativity and a less fluent way of putting thoughts into writing! He's a tough act to follow, but I figured everyone was ready to hear from the patient herself!

So to answer the question I'm asked most...How are you feeling? That's a complex answer and I looked really hard on Google to show you a picture, but it's not really a search friendly explanation. In a nutshell...I feel like a sausage that someone packed too tightly into the casing! Funny but so true! Steroids are my newfound enemy (even though I know they are helping me get better day by day)! If the steroids have a side effect, I got it (all 20 of them). But the good news is that they are slowly fading me off of them and there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

It’s crazy, but I rarely think about the actual incision until Owen (at 2 years old) asks me to put a hat on. He does this every hour or so! He also makes comments about the choo-choo train tracks on my head! I love the kid's honesty! I got my staples out today, so we will see if he still thinks they look like choo-choo tracks!

So, the incision isn't that bad. It goes from the top of my right ear lobe right, behind my hairline, to an inch past the midline of my head. I'm not really taking any pain meds anymore. I get a slight headache on rare occasions when I over-do it a bit, but that's it. Awesome, and praise the Lord for that!

So what I can and can't do? I still have kept a pretty laid back schedule. I fatigue pretty quickly. I'm still not supposed to lift the kids or anything over 5 lbs (challenging!). I haven't driven since the diagnosis (Jan. 31st) due to the pressure the tumor was putting on my optic nerve. I haven't had the visual disturbances since the surgery (Praise the Lord) so I probably could drive, but I'm not sure my "sausage link-like reflexes" are quite up to speed with the other drivers! I mean when your neck is a similar size to your shoulders and cheeks, it's hard to turn your head in a split second! I know you are all thinking, "Sarah, you are being so hard on yourself." I know because everyone has said that, but trust me...it is pretty close and if you know me well you know I have to find humor in everything! It's my best coping mechanism!

I know people are also wondering if I lost any skills when they removed some of my brain tissue, good and bad. Well, so far, no. At least no one is telling me! I know some of the functions of the frontal lobe from school, so; of course I've been testing myself on some of those skills. They typically include high executive functioning skills like organization, memory, behavior, personality, and problem solving to name a few (we are in the clear because these haven't been strengths of mine for quite some time now!). So, am I normal? Probably not, because I don't think God ever intended me to be "normal”. Am I still quirky Sarah who laughs at everything? YES! Also, a plus is that the tumor on my right hemisphere which is likely most people's non-dominant side of the brain.

Emotionally? I'm doing pretty well. Do I have my bad days where I just beg and cry to God? Yes, not very often, but they do come around. Emotions have been very interesting during this journey. For the most part, I haven't dwelled on the situation (which is another coping strategy of mine). I just ignore it until I can actually take a step to fix it. We have been keeping life as normal as possible around here, which has been beneficial for me in this area. I think I've been pretty strong, but I'm still reminded of my weakness, too. Overall, I'm hanging in there just fine and KNOWING the Lord is going to do great things through this. I was telling the Lord today that I'm not sure how he's going to use me through this, what I'm supposed to be learning, or even if I'm ready, but every ounce of this pain is so worth it to know that just one person could benefit from my story and possibly grow closer to Him or even better yet know who HE truly is for the first time. So. Worth. It.

I would also like to sincerely THANK every single one of you. I cannot tell you how awesome it is to feel all the encouragement and support from so many people. A day still does not go by that we do not get a card in the mail, facebook/twitter/blog message, flowers, dinner, money, gift cards, fruit baskets, text message, voicemail, etc. encouraging us in our journey and letting us know we are being prayed for. I want you to know that we have read and cherished every single one of them. We are so humbled by everyone's responses and concern. It truly takes our breath away and has helped us fight this battle even stronger. Thank you doesn't seem like enough words to say, but from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!

I'm ending my novel with this: I am truly a blessed woman to be surrounded by an amazing family. Most of you know how great they are without me even going into details, but they have surrounded me and not let me fall even one inch. Parents and siblings, you all know what ALL you have done for us, and again forever thank you. Now to Pat...you have all gotten to see an amazing side to my "beyond perfect in my eyes husband" through his blog posts. And yes, he is that amazing. It is breath-taking to me that God could and would create such a perfect person for me and then make sure I found him! I did. I found him and tricked him into marrying me, and I'm so glad I did. You have been a rock babe, and thank you for carrying me through with you. We are going to make this great!

Love to all and we are still praying for a great pathology report from Houston. Our next appointment is March 25th. It's going to be good!

Still Waiting

No news is typically good news. In our case today, no news is, likely, postponed good news! We arrived in Houston today, only to learn that official pathology is not yet available. Long story short, we have to come back in two weeks to get the OFFICIAL report.

Typically, pathology is available tens days after surgery, but the pathology team wanted to do a few more tests on Sarah's tumor. It sounds like the pending tests are usually reserved for low grade tumor cases.

They did affirm, again, that Sarah's tumor looks to be low grade. A few times, it was even referred to as "very low grade".

So, we still don't have anything official, but the feedback sounds like we can expect good news soon.